Crystal ball: Police & Crime Commissioners

I've never really been one to try to look into, or guess, the future. I'm going to have a go now though.

The year is approximately 2015, after the Police & Crime Commissioners have been elected, and have had their attempt at running a police service. The PCC will have outlined a set of wholly unachievable goals. The public will be largely disgruntled and disillusioned. The Chief Constable will be feeling the heat from the PCC. Based on the old adage that "shit always runs downhill", that heat will be felt, in differing ways, by every officer through the organisation, down on to what used to be called "frontline" duties. It's now called "customer-facing crime technicians".

There are now fewer "Customer Facing Crime Technicians" than at any time since the Second World War, but more people in back offices than ever before in "Customer Service" and "Customer Experience Manipulation" departments, yet crime figures are less accurately recorded than Enron's accounts.

The Chief Constable has had enough. He decides that he needs to confront the PCC.

The Chief Constable storms into the office of the PCC and says "Sir, you've promised the electorate things that my police force can't possibly deliver. Do you know what this means?"

The PCC eyes the Chief Constable suspiciously. "Of course I know what it means. It means I'm a great politician and you're a crappy Chief Constable."




With apologies to Scott Adams whose Dilbert cartoon the above was based on.